Thursday, November 19, 2009

Without a Plan

928 Days to Complete My List of Dreams

I'm a planner. I like to know where I'm going and how I'm going to get there. I make lists and goals and steps to complete them.

But life never works out the way I plan.

If I really look at what I had intended for this stage of my life I would be married with children and living in a little house on a lake. But that didn't happen. Instead, I'm taking time to live for myself. I'm going after everything I desire. I'm spoiling myself and having fun. I've come to realize that in the past I squashed the tiny voice inside me that was trying to yell that I wanted time for me first. I listened to society instead of my heart.

I look at this list of dreams and I don't know how I'm going to accomplish any of it. Every day, I worry that I'm making a big mistake, but so many things have come to me in unexpected ways that I can't stop. It seems that when I decide to move in the direction of my dreams, a path, which I didn't know existed, opens up.

The cool thing about not having a plan, is that it's like having Christmas every day. I never know what surprise will happen or what idea will come to me, or who I will meet that will bring my dreams one step closer. I just have to keep walking through my fear and saying, "I can do this."

I believe that unhappiness comes from squashing the tiny voice inside that wants to get big. Many times it's suppressed because we're too afraid to listen. Then we wonder why our lives are stuck. If we let the inner voice speak, what we really want begins to manifest in our lives.

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