Compromise vs. Concession

853 Days to Complete 101 Dreams Come True


A friend and I were talking about relationships and she said to me, "You compromise on where you live, where you spend the holidays and vacations, and how you spend money. What you don't compromise on is who you are. I woke up one day in my marriage and realized that I was conceding who I was in order to be in my relationship."

How true, I thought, not just in relationships but in life.

A relationship should allow us to grow bigger than we can imagine ourselves being. It should be a source of strength, of unconditional love that lifts us when we are down, but many relationships aren't this way. In the same respect, our lives and the way we choose to live them should also make our spirits expand. Most people are stuck in a rut of boredom, stress, and complacency.

Too many people concede in life. They say it's too hard to go after their dreams or fight for what they really desire. Many have spent their entire existence trying to be what they think others will love. They haven't learned who they are or what they want, but instead they try to live up to a picture they have in their head of what is lovable.

I believe it's in this concession with life that our unhappiness has hit epidemic proportions. I believe that the need for another person to fill the void within ourselves is what creates the high rate of divorce in our country.

When you stop compromising on getting what you really need in life you no longer concede to misery or look to others to fill the emptiness inside. This can't start outside. You must first find love within. This isn't some self-help hokey idea I'm talking about. I'm discussing taking the time to fall in love with who you are.

Only when you say to life, I will not concede to less; I will not compromise on who I am in order to be loved by another; I will love myself; I will believe in myself and go for everything I've ever dreamed of doing, that life will open up one heck of a present of happiness.

No one else can ever fill you permanently. Only you can.