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47 Dreams Left on the Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True

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Being Enough

47 Dreams Left on the Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True

For the last two weeks,  I've spent many hours in front of my computer going after my biggest dream - to have my fiction novel published. Though I finished the novel and have an amazing agent who loves the story, the novel has yet to see a publishing deal. My agent and I decided we needed to find ways to improve the story. So for the last two weeks, I re-entered the world of my characters and lived their lives, bringing some changes to how they saw the world.

While I was writing the novel, I lived in fear: would I be enough; did I have the talent; could I make it perfect; would this be my last chance? I realized that the dreams that are the most difficult to go after are the ones that take persistence and that will challenge me for years. It's not hard to get on a plane and go to another country anymore. It takes money and planning, but it's something that I've become comfortable doing. Jumping out of airplanes, or hang gliding, is an adrenaline rush that pushes my fear button, but once again I know I'm going to love the moment.

This morning I realized that the dreams that make me doubt myself are the ones that take courage to continue when there's no instant gratification. I have no idea if my novel will be published. My dream to complete my senior moves in figure skating will take years of dedication and hard work; I wonder if I will have the stamina to keep going through injuries, failures, and exhaustion. And the dream to say how I feel without need or expectation is not an easy one for me.

Last Sunday, I sank to my knees and cried my heart out. The pressure I had put on myself had become so intense that I felt wasted and drained. I wasn't a good enough writer and I couldn't make the story what I desired it to be. I hadn't skated much in the past month, how would I ever complete my dream of passing the tests. I needed to tell a coach that I needed someone different, but I was afraid of the consequences of hurting her so I was willing to stay where I was. I looked at the constant risk of going after my dreams and thought, this is kicking my butt.

On Friday, for better or worse, I turned in my novel to my agent. I spent the weekend celebrating the accomplishment. Then yesterday, I returned to the mindset of reaching for my goals and making lists of what needed to be done. Then my pastor said something I needed to hear, "You are already enough. Go sit in the sun and think of the sun as love. You don't have to be anything to receive sunlight. You don't have to be different or better, you just have to be who you are."

I realized that in my passion to complete my dreams and achieve my goals, I'm so afraid that I won't be enough, or that I'm taking the wrong path, that I feel like I must forge ahead without stopping. But it's when I play, let go, enjoy what I'm doing or what I'm working on, that life is sweeter.

I will always embrace challenges. It's a high to be extreme and push myself to the brink, but every once in awhile I need to step back and say, "I don't need to be more right now, I'm enough."

Tallest Roller Coaster in the World

47 Dreams Left to Complete 101 Dreams Come True
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When a roller coaster has a 428 ft drop, goes over 128 miles per hour, and gives a face-lift the second it takes off, how could it not be one of my 101 Dreams Come True?
Riding coasters makes me feel like a kid. I love how my heart slightly races as I hear the click of the cars moving up the hill, inching over the top, and then rushing downward, my stomach in my chest as I scream at the top of my lungs. 

When I realized the tallest coaster in the world was close to my childhood home I thought it would be an easy dream to complete. Every October I travel to Boston to see fall foliage. In order to achieve my dream I simply needed to rent a car and drive the five hours from Boston to the amusement park. The year I made my list, I planned to achieve this dream, but weather fouled my plans. The second year, again rain was in the forecast.

By the third trip home, determination had taken over. I was going to ride this coaster even if I had to do it with water pelting my face. Things seemed to be on track as I made plans with a friend to drive to the park. I flew home, rented a car, and was ready to have a blast at the amusement park. Two days before our big adventure, my friend had to back out. I’m comfortable doing my dreams alone, even enjoy it, but I didn’t want to play in an amusement park by myself. I asked numerous friends to accompany me, and though many were excited to join in, one by one they came up with excuses: the drive was too long; they’d have to get up early; they’d be tired the next day; if only they’d known sooner. “Do it next year,” my friends said. I thought about taking their advice, but I’d made the promise that if the opportunity to make a dream come true came to me, I had to do it.

I decided I would go alone. There could be no excuses when it came to making a dream come true. Roadblocks wouldn’t stop me.

It turned out that universe had a better plan for my dream than I could’ve imagined. My girlfriend from California, who’d been traveling in China and Romania the past year, was in New York City and she was willing to join me. I drove four hours alone, picked her up outside the city, and went to the park.

With blue skies and sixty-five degree weather, the park was crowded for late October. We made our way to the roller coaster only to find out that it had been shut down for over an hour. As we walked away, the line started to move and the ride re-opened. It took us only half an hour to reach the front of the line and we decided to wait the extra time to sit in the front seats.

We sat down, the ride moved forward, and stopped. I looked at its tall hill, so unlike any other coaster I’d ridden. Would it even be good? I wondered. Where was the hill you slowly clicked up? Where were the rolling ups and downs where you put your hands up so you were lifted out of your seat? I’d come all this way for this?

Then the ride moved. Or should I say shot like a rocket with such force I felt my skin pulling as if I were skydiving. We twisted and turned up to the crest and then slowed as we came over the top of the hill. For one moment I took in the view - miles of trees bright with the colors of fall. Then I was falling, shooting back to the earth with incredible force and up over the final hill. I screamed with joy as my arms went over my head.

I felt the rush of living to the maximum. Hyper with adrenaline my friend and I laughed our way back to the line planning to ride again, but now there was a four hour wait.
We rode only two other coasters that day due to the crowds. We spent hours in line, yet, it was a day I will never forget as I caught up with my dear friend sharing stories of our year and how we’re choosing to pursue our dreams. Maybe it’s crazy to drive eleven hours in one day for three minutes of ride time, but I think a little crazy in life makes living that much more fun.

You Have to Laugh

48 Dreams Left on the Way to 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com

This week I'm in New England seeing the fall foliage, roaming through shops in Boston, visiting family and friends, and spending time soaking up the place that will always be home to me.

Yesterday, my mother received an email recounting a story from the "Tonight Show". While we read the email my mother and I laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. The story has brought continued giggles throughout the week. I thought I'd give you a break from my usual musings about life and going after dreams to share this funny story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold... And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chill cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Of course this story caused my mother, aunt and I to share our most embarrassing first date stories. Mine had to do with the smell of garbage...and I'm going to leave it at that.

Getting Out of Debt: The Power of Focus

48 Dreams Left on the Way to Making 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com

Today's blog is about a friend who has made a radical change in her life. For privacy purposes I will call her Sheila.

When Sheila was in her early twenties she lost both her parents: her mother to breast cancer, her father to a heart attack. Her brother took over the family home, but when he moved to Florida Sheila bought her parent's home. She worked hard as a retail manager and as a graphic designer to make ends meet. Having no immediate family in the area, she found friends who welcomed her into their lives as sister and daughter. For years, she tried to keep up with the massive repairs on the older home, but as a single person working sometimes two jobs, it became harder to keep up.

About five years ago, in the mortgage upswing, she refinanced her home to pay off bills, make repairs on her house and truck, and to get a better rate. The mortgage company wasn't a large institution but one of those companies you hear about in the news. About a year after she refinanced, the company was sold and her loan changed. Suddenly she had to come up with large sums of money to keep her home. She lived in constant stress as the house fell into disrepair. I watched my friend desperately trying to make it all work. She continually said, "I make enough money to pay the mortgage. It's cheaper than rent would be, but the mortgage company keeps side-swiping me. I can't lose my parents home."

Two years ago, she had to walk away. Many people have done the same, having gotten into loans bigger than they could handle or from job loss, but this wasn't her case. Saying goodbye to her family's home hurt her to the core of her being.

But Sheila's the type of person who keeps going. Always willing to help a friend, she keeps a smile on her face for the world to see. I knew she was battling to pay down her debt, but I had no idea how deep the house had taken her until she said, "In one year, I've paid off $35,000 of my debt and I only have a few thousand left. I brought my credit score up over two hundred points."

I almost cried as I asked her, "How did you do it?"

"I just decided to I focus on myself instead of all the drama around me. I worked really hard, cut my expenses, and only went out to eat on really special occasions. I still did the things I loved, but instead of doing them six times a month I did them once."

As I go after my list of 101 dreams come true, I hear people say that they can't go after their dreams because of their impossible financial situation. I hear the excuse that the economy is bad and that it isn't the right time. Sheila not only paid off her debt, but became a Special Olympics coach and local board member. This year, she traveled the country cheering on her athletes. She's also started her own business. She not only paid off her debt, but she made her life bigger than before.

When you think your dreams are impossible, realize that there's always a way.  My friend works two jobs, and doesn't make anywhere close to six figures per year and yet she did this. The next time you don't think you can change your life, I hope you remember her story. When you focus your mind, anything is possible. I know her story inspired me.

Complacency

48 Dreams Left on the Way to Making 101 Dreams Come True

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Last week a friend told me she wanted to change something about her life. I asked her what she wanted to do in order to make that change and she replied with a laugh, "Nothing. I just want it to happen."

I couldn't understand her complacency towards something important. Often people look at how I live and say, "It must be nice." They act as if a wand has been waved over my head and everything I desire just magically comes to me. In some ways, since making my list of dreams, my life feels as if there's a miraculous energy creating a path for my dreams to come true. In truth, I work hard, push to have what I want, settle for nothing less than magnificence, say 'yes' to the opportunities that come my way, and at times I'm exhausted with how much I do in order to have what I desire. 

Too many people are complacent about life. They get comfortable with a routine and though they want more, they don't push themselves to step out of their rut. Many times they blame something or someone on why they can't have what they desire and look for new personal relationships to make them feel alive again.

This past weekend some friends and I took six children camping. I watched as the kids stood in muddy water up to their knees catching tiny fish in plastic cups. They swung in the hammock laughing together, then ran off to find secret hiding places in the woods. The littlest one found a kitten and she spent half an hour patiently creeping towards it to make friends. More than once, I heard the words "I'm bored" when they couldn't find something new to keep them entertained.

Children find the world intriguing. They're excited to explore and they can't sit still for very long. When they're upset, they voice their emotions, crying them out until the pain passes, then run to play again. They see the world in a beautiful light where laughter is a part of their daily routine.

I'm not sure what happens on the way to adulthood that we forget how to really taste life. At some point we become complacent. I think many times it's when our lives haven't measured up to the vision we had as young adults. We give up on our dreams and allow fear, daily pressures, and past emotions to be our excuses. But what if everyday we searched for new ways to enjoy life - to explore our world and our relationships? What if we used the hours watching television to laugh, have a pillow fight with a kid, enjoy a sunset, play a new instrument, jump on a trampoline, or plan a getaway.

In going after my dreams I feel as if there isn't enough time in one life to experience everything I desire, and I've made over thirty-four of my big dreams come true in the last two years. But in going after the big things, I've learned to enjoy the little things as if they were as big as my most spectacular dreams - like roasting marshmallows by a campfire or just going to a park to read a book.

So many people say that they don't have time to do what they want in life. But they only have one life to explore this incredible world. How can they not make the time to enjoy it?

A Vision of Feminism

48 Dreams Left on My Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com

Jennifer Sleeman, an 80-year-old woman, from Ireland asked the faithful women of her country to boycott Sunday Mass on September 26, 2010.  She wanted “to let the Vatican and the Irish church know that women are tired of being treated as second-class citizens." Her call moved beyond her own country to a worldwide cry for women to stay at home and pray for change. She claimed that women were the majority of the church and that together they had the strength to tell the patriarchal heir achy that the power of the pews comes from women.

My Pastor was upset when he heard that women of his parish were considering walking out on September 26th. Our church is an open, loving community, where all people are accepted and treated equal. I could see why Father Anthony might be hurt when I told him that women, even in his parish, were angry, but he listened as I spoke. I told him that as women we are taught from an early age that we are second class and that the men of biblical times were important while the women were mainly whores, crazy, or simply unimportant. There are scriptures about women, but few are read during mass that give women a sense of pride. During mass on September 26th, he acknowledged the women of our church and the important role we play so that healing could begin. It was a step towards change with a long journey ahead.

I was born a feminist. By the age of five, I'd decided I'd never take a man's name. I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to become a priest or even an altar girl. I wanted to know why professional sports were all about men. I was angry whenever I was told that I was a pretty girl and should marry rich. Even the women in my life, who always told me I could do anything, still instilled the idea that I needed to know how to cook and clean to be a proper wife someday.

As I grew into a young woman, I encountered feminist who ridiculed me for how I dressed and lived. They felt because I wore high heels, make-up, feminine dresses, and allowed men to open doors for me, that somehow I lessened the female gender. I disagreed.

There is a power in being a woman. It has nothing to do with hair color or breast size. It comes from the softness of being feminine, and within that softness is a power equal to, if not stronger than, the warrior spirit of a man. A man becomes speechless at the sight of a confident, sexy woman, who knows who she is. When that same woman looks at a man with love and the need to be loved, his heart belongs to her. Since the beginning of time men's Achilles heels have been women and the fear of women's power caused femininity to be suppressed.

Somehow in our need to find equality, women haven't turned to this power, instead they've tried to become more like warrior men. I think this has left many men wondering who they are supposed to be in relationships, in the work place, and in life. They've been asked to be softer, more emotional, and many are unsure if they are supposed to open a door for a lady and pay for dinner or if they are insulting the woman when they do so. It has created a generation of lost gender identities and many men have become what my friend calls, 'flow boys', I'll go with whatever you want me to be. A therapist once told me, "We are trying so hard to build our girls that we are burying our men." This leads to women being frustrated, men being lost, and no one being able to be who they really are. In our search for equality as women, we've somehow decided that men need to be less or different. How is this any better?

I was speaking to my friend Jane from Midlifeblogger, and she said, "The definition of feminism, is that women should be able to be whatever they need to be without judgment while being treated equal to their male counters. If a woman wants to stay home and raise her babies she can still be a feminist." Then she added, "You my dear, are the face of the new feminism. You can be independent, travel the world, like who you are, speak your mind, and still allow yourself to be a feminine, soft spirit."

The more I go after my dreams and seek a life where I believe I can have it all, the more comfortable I become with who I am. I've come to realize that I love being a woman and as I embrace my femininity, my softer side, I feel more power in who I am.

For many years, men have dominated. There are women who believe that it is our time to be on top and that men should be lessened in order for balance. In truth, women aren't conquerors and to become like men would only create more masculine imbalance. In our softness we need to see, that it is in accepting one another for the true spirits we are that we can find balance, equality, and happiness.

Through The Lens

48 Dreams Left on My Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True

When I hold a camera in my hand the world becomes a different place. I see angles, tiny details, and ways to capture my experience. This past weekend, James, my photography teacher, took me to a private hillside vineyard overlooking Napa Valley. I'd forgotten my camera battery so he handed me his Cannon while he returned to the car to grab a corkscrew.

I walked the vineyard taking in the world's beautiful details: the way the sun hit a sunflower and how blue the sky looked next to its yellow petals; a bright red grape leaf against a rusted post; the way the trees framed the valley below; and how the setting sun cast light against the landscape. As I walked, a meditative calm wrapped me in presence.

When James returned, I handed him the camera and became shy about my ability. His pictures are breathtaking and I feel amateur in his company. As we shared a picnic, waiting for the perfect light of the setting sun, James continued to take pictures of the little details - my feet behind a glass of wine with the moonlight in the background. Wherever he turned he saw a shot that had to be taken - a beauty the world created. He didn't worry about making it perfect, he just shot.

When orange sunlight bathed the valley in magic, I walked to the best viewpoint for sunset. From behind, I could hear James taking pictures of me. I froze, an uncomfortable feeling making every muscle tighten with anxiety. I wanted James to turn the camera away.

I've always been camera shy - seeing only the imperfections in photos of myself. People tell me how uncomfortable I look in shots and that they don't do me justice.

The more I hang out with James, the more I wonder about this camera shyness. Why can I see such beauty in the world but not in myself?

When James handed me his camera, I froze again. He was standing right behind me and I was too worried about making mistakes. I realized that I do this with everything in my life. I'm so afraid of writing badly, that sometimes I can't write at all. With skating, I get frustrated and won't practice a particular exercise for fear of experiencing imperfection. Even with posting my dreams and trying to do justice to what I've experienced, I feel the description will never be good enough.

I'm trying so hard to shoot life dirty, but it's harder than I imagined. So today, I changed dream number seventy. It now reads - Be Imperfect. I know it sounds strange, but if it's my dream to make mistakes, or to look silly or once in awhile horrible in a picture, then hopefully I can live a little more fully -  I can spend more time noticing all those little, beautiful details of the world. I can spend time wrapped up in the presence I feel when I'm seeing the world through my lens.

Last three photos on this blog were done by James Tennery. To see more of his photos go to his gallery.

Let There Be Peace

48 Dreams Left on the Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True

On September 11, 2010,  I stood at the Sacramento Cathedral steps, the setting sun illuminating the church spires in pink, as white doves were released over the crowd. A soft song of "Let There Be Peace On Earth" was sung, as one by one, people placed roses on the Quran in blessing. Religious leaders from the Bahia, Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Spiritual Life, Hindu, and different Christian religions read passages of peace from the Quran. The crowd was just as diverse, coming together in the understanding if we're to have peace on earth then prejudice must come to an end.

The ceremony was an attempt to heal the hurt caused by a man in Florida who called for the Quran to be burned. As I looked around the crowd, who stood together in a vision of a world united by differences instead of disgraced by ignorance, I was surrounded by hope.

When I made my list of 101 Dreams Come True, I wrote that I wanted to bring all faiths together in an open discussion for understanding. At the time, I wasn't part of organized religion but had my own spirituality that I hold to this day (though I'm now part of a Franciscan church). I didn't have contact with any Muslims, so my only knowledge of the Islamic faith was what I'd seen on newscasts, movies, and what I'd heard from other people. If I'm completely honest, I had prejudice towards many organized faiths (Catholicism being one) that I hadn't recognized.

But as I've searched for ways to make this dream come true of bringing faiths together, I've become part of the Interfaith Service Bureau of Sacramento that's opened my heart and mind to many religions: I've shared Ramadan in my Catholic Church; gone to Iftar at the SALAM center; prayed with Muslims in a mosque; taken a class on Monotheism led by Christian leaders, Rabbis, and an Imam; meditated with Unitarians; done Yoga with Hindus; walked through Potala Palace with a Buddhist monk; attended Non-denominational services; and have become an active member of my church. As I've studied faith, I've realized that all religions are based on the same ideals: a higher power; love; treating others better than we expect to be treated; and that humans so often get it wrong and need a little help along the way.


I have to wonder, if we're similar in our basic beliefs then why do we have a bloody history when it comes to religion? The only answer I have is that ideas are formed in ignorance and then passed along. It's only in learning and sharing with one another that we can end this horrible history of hate. For when people come together in peace, no matter what the faith, it brings forth love, understanding, and friendship. And isn't that what life is all about?

Photos on this blog were done by James Tennery. To see more photos of the event go to his gallery.

Turns Out I'm Infectious

53 Dreams Accomplished on the Way to 101 Dreams Come True

This morning a skating friend said to me, "I saw your website. What you're doing is infectious." She explained that she and her husband have always had lists of dreams they'd like to do, but instead have spent most of their life working hard to build their business. They've found themselves bogged down by the daily grind and wondering what life is all about. She said that her daughter was following in their footsteps of becoming a workaholic. When my friend shared my website and my 101 Dreams Come True with her husband they began talking about the dreams they want to accomplish and they began to put a plan in motion.

Last week, I had some really down, depressed days. I was exhausted mentally and emotionally from family issues and I felt like I didn't want to continue making this journey public. No matter how pure my intentions are to help others, when someone says that I'm a showoff who needs to be the center of attention, or that they don't like being around me because of how I live my life, or better yet I'm told who I am and I'm not even allowed to defend my actions, it's defeating. Everyone wants to be seen for the person they are, and when that doesn't happen it hurts.

So last Tuesday, I curled into my blankets, ate ice cream, watched movies, and did a whole lot of crying. When I woke the next morning I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to stay in my cave, but instead I meditated, went skating, worked out, and wrote. I moved forward through the sadness and focused on what was good in my life.

Two days later, a friend made my 53rd dream come true. He found out that Beauty and The Beast was playing in San Francisco, and he bought 10th row orchestra tickets, booked a beautiful hotel room, sent me the largest flower bouquet I've ever received and flew in from Chicago to take me to the play. We went to dinner, the show, and then the Grand View room for dessert. He did it all just to put a smile on my face.

Today when my skating friend told me that making my dreams come true was infectious I had to think about how incredible this journey really has been. In the last month, three of my dreams have come true: seeing Vancouver, Hang Gliding, and now seeing Beauty and the Beast. Each one of these dreams came true because people wanted to share in my journey and to see me accomplish what I desired.

There are always going to be people who will judge unfairly and see the world from their perspective. I'm a sensitive person who will never be able to let people's comments roll off my back, especially those I love. Life will have it's ups and downs and days where bed, ice cream, and movies are critical therapy. But I've realized that though I may not please others by going after my dreams, I do build a life where even the hard things can't keep me down for long. And it turns out by shining my love for life, it's helping others to shine their light as well. Then they pass it along to another and there's a chain reaction. So here's to shining light no matter what someone says about me. What the heck, does it really matter what someone else says about me? Nope it only matters what I think. I'm the one living this life and I only get one shot at making it as full as possible. If I died tomorrow, opinions wouldn't matter in the least.

What's Different About You and BTW I Got Married

52 Dreams Accomplished on the Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True

Number 51 and 52 were checked off my list and what an adventure they were. For the last two weeks I've been traveling from my home town, up through Oregon, with a stop off in Portland for my friend's wedding, then onto Vancouver, up to Whistler, back through Oregon and California along the coastal route with another stop in the Redwood forest. The blog was shut down due to a robot deciding I was a spam blog (too bad I don't even know what that is) and I haven't been able to update my ramblings about my adventures. There is so much to tell and many pictures to share and I will try to do this in an orderly fashion over the next couple of weeks.

Last you heard from me I was headed to Portland to attend my friend Tam's wedding. It was a sweet ceremony where the couple couldn't take their eyes off one another with the intimate love they share evident in their smiles and eyes. I hadn't seen my friend or his close friends and family in almost three years. When I greeted them and shared hugs they stared at me. I heard statements like, "There's something different about you. Did you lose weight? Did you change your hair? You look amazing." I smiled and brushed off the compliments wanting to hear about their lives and how things had been. Throughout the night, the comments continued, "There's just something so different about you. What is it?"

Finally I said, "I'm happy now. I'm going after my dreams, I'm living the life I've always desired."

"But you were happy before. You traveled, had a great relationship, skated, I thought you had the perfect life."

And I had to wonder at the change. They were right, I did travel and skate before this journey, I was in a deeply committed relationship, but I wasn't living out loud and I wasn't happy. It was easy to pretend that I had the perfect life and show that to the world, even when inside I felt like I was dying.  I wasn't falling in love with the world and seeing life from a perspective where dreams were meant to happen. I was living to please others and to keep peace. I was forcing myself to comply. I was settling for less than magnificence.

The next day I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony on the waterfront of Portland. I stood by a white cardboard chapel with Rev. Mart Sepulveda as she rapped and committed me to my journey of completing my 101 Dreams Come True. I said my vows, that no matter how hard, no matter what roadblocks found me, I would continue on this incredible journey of mine. She placed a small pinch ring on my left finger and pronounced me married to myself.

I loved it. What an incredible concept. That marriage isn't just about committing yourself to another person, but making a commitment to the things that matter most in your life.

So now, I can finally ease all those people's minds that worry that this journey and my independence will keep me from ever getting married and being happy. I'm married now to the happiest dream I could ever imagine - a life filled with the greatest decadence and beauty this world can bring.

Perception

51 Dreams Accomplished on My Way to 101 Dreams Come True

I thought I had packed well for my trip through Oregon and then up to Vancouver. I had shorts and t-shirts along with a couple of fleeces for camping. I had my fancy city clothing. I even remembered a rain jacket.

Now that I've reached a few of my destinations I've realized that living in California has changed my perception of weather. For seven years, I've experienced brutal heat during the day without seeing a rain cloud for up to seven months. During the "winter" in California, I wear light jackets and I believe that warm spring weather starts the beginning of March. I have no concept that when I leave the state I should bring a jacket for cool nights during the summers months or that I would need long underwear to keep me warm while camping in the mountains.

While camping by a lake in Oregon, as I swung in my hammock wrapped in two fleeces, I thought about how where I live has changed how I think about the world.

When I lived in New England my life flowed with the seasons. I wore sweaters in the fall when the leaves changed and the air smelled like apples. I remembered to bring rain gear when I went camping in the summer and brought warm clothing for the nights. I knew the flowers and leaves didn't bud till mid-May, and I was always dressed like an Eskimo in winter. I saw the world through this vision of life. I would've never considered going to Europe in the middle of March since I knew the weather could possibly be horrendous. Yet, this year it never crossed my mind until after I booked my trip that the weather would be anything but beautiful.

As the sun set, and I stared at the Milky Way, I thought about my journey of making my dreams come true. There was a time when I believed that dreams were meant for other people. I came from a background of financial hardship. My family didn't dream of traveling the world, they worked hard just to make ends meet. The thought that one day I would see Paris was the furthest I would allow my mind to wander.

On the first night of my trip, I was walking through the campground at Crater Lake trying to find a hiking trail. I stopped to ask directions and when the woman looked at me to answer, I realized she was a friend from Massachusetts I hadn't seen in seven years. I spent two days camping with her and her husband as they showed me areas of Oregon I wouldn't have seen. When we separated, they invited me to their home when I drive back to California. She said to me, "Things like this just never happen."

"They do to me," I replied. I realized that since taking this journey I've begun to expect that miracles will happen - that my dreams will come to me in unexpected ways and with them it will bring people and experiences that I didn't even know I wanted or needed. My perception is changing.

I realized that this is the reason I've decided to make this journey public. I want to change the perception people have about life. Because what if we did believe that the world is a sunny, warm place where dreams are meant to come true? If I can do this, if I can complete my life-list, then maybe others will believe it too.

Bards in Tights, Dancing Through the Night, and Swinging In Hammocks

51 Dreams Left to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

I knew my weekend was going to be good when it started on a Thursday night sitting by the bright blue waters of Lake Tahoe. As the sun set, my friend and I feasted on a picnic while three men took on the task of performing the complete works of William Shakespeare Abridged at the Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival. I love Shakespeare and there is no better place to experience it than sitting on a beach surrounded by mountains with the sound of lapping water in the distance. It gives the work a surreal romantic effect.

Of course this year, the romance wasn't quite the same. Instead of the typical Shakespearean experience of serious literature, the three actors wore neon pink, yellow, and green tights with Converse high tops with period clothing. To give you some idea of how insane the show became I quote, "To be or not to be, that is the question....Bella I sparkle in the sunlight, do you love me or do you love Jacob?" The show was campy, raunchy, and utterly hilarious. I laughed till my cheeks were covered in salt from the tears.

On Saturday night I attended the Wanderlust Yoga and Music Festival. We sat ten feet from Moby as he played an acoustic set. The music seemed to vibrate the mountains with beauty and tranquility. Children sat in their parent's laps or stood on their shoulders and it felt like an innocence flowed through the crowd.

As the hours went by, the music revved in intensity. We danced to reggae and then to techno. Fire-dancers performed on stage and throughout the crowd. I lost myself in the music letting it move me until I felt like I had disappeared into the night sky, the stars, the mountains, and the beauty around me (I wasn't doing drugs, I don't partake. The high I speak of is a natural one that comes from losing yourself in the present moment, forgetting the ego and the mind, and letting go to life).

The next day found me on a beach, swinging in a hammock while I took in the scenery around me. I had no desire to move or to even read. I was content, looking at the beauty of my surroundings while I relaxed.

It was a sensual weekend: I felt the world around me; saw it's beauty; tasted great food; drank beautiful wines; felt loved by friendship; listened to great art; and touched life and all that is wonderful.

As I sat in a Jacuzzi bubble bath, drinking wine and eating chocolate covered strawberries and blueberries, I thought, this is why I began this journey - to taste life bigger, to experience the decadence of the world, and by some amazing gift I'm doing it in a more magnificent way than I ever thought possible.

The next two weeks will be about living life this way. I'm off to pack to begin my journey to make two more of my dreams come true. I will be heading to Oregon tomorrow. I've never seen this state, and though it isn't formally on my list of dreams, it's a place I've always wanted to see. From Portland I will go to Vancouver to complete my dream of seeing this area.  I'm blessed by the fact that a friend is bringing me to enjoy her family while showing me the city.

If the weather is in my favor, which I pray it will be, I will head to Whistler to go hang gliding in Pemberton with Gravity Sports. I've spoken briefly to Jon who will be making this dream of mine come true. I love his attitude about why he enjoys flying tandem hang gliding. As he put it, "I'm more than happy to help you on your quest Marci. That is the biggest reason I do tandems. My mission is to offer a fun and professional flying experience, using the combination of the best equipment and techniques to hopefully making people's flying dreams become a reality. I love to watch their joy afterward. It's such a rewarding and satisfying vibe, giving me an inner glow that tends to last a while."

Last night, I saw that someone quoted me on their blog and then made a list of their own of 101 Dreams Come True. By doing what I love, I've made others feel that they can do it as well. I love that Jon from Gravity Sports does what he loves and in the process is able to enhances people's lives.

It's thought to be selfish to go after what we love for personal reasons, but by being selfish and living our dreams, we effect the world around us. I believe it is everyone's right and responsibility to live a life of fulfillment. You never know how it will ultimately change the world.

Something Funny Happened on the Way to Failure

51 Dreams Left on My List of 101 Dreams Come True

I recently took my novice moves in the field test in figure skating. I had worked for seven months and in the final six weeks I pushed my body to the point of exhaustion. Though I skated well during the test, and was proud of my accomplishment, the judges gave me two tenths of a point lower than what I needed to pass. I had failed and in front of everyone.

The wind was taken from my sail. I was crushed and upset especially since I felt I deserved to pass. It had been my one chance to pass this set of moves before the entire system changed and now I had to learn all new criteria. All my hard work was for nothing. Plus, I had to face everyone and tell them I failed.

A funny thing happened when I told people I didn't pass. People congratulated me on my hard work and how much I had accomplished. They cheered me on and lifted me up. There was no pity for me and I wasn't embarrassed. It turned out, that failing wasn't so bad.

I've spent my life worried that if I failed in front of people that I would somehow be lessened. I put a tremendous amount of stress on each thing I've pursued for fear of failure. In some ways this pushes me to achieve a higher level, but it also causes anxiety and sometimes blocks me completely.


We place so much emphasis in our culture on final outcomes that many times we forget to pay attention to the journey along the way and all that we've gained. We fear failure, so many times we don't even start down the path we desire. But the truth is that the only way we can fail in life is if we never begin. We aren't always going to get what we believe we deserve. Hard work won't always be rewarded or even acknowledged, but if we look outside ourselves for that praise and reward we will always be doing things for the wrong reason.

I've also realized that when I put emphasis on a final outcome as the prize, I lose steam when it doesn't come the way I desired. I whine that I worked hard and I don't have anything left to keep going. This is when I take a break, dust myself off, and realize that life isn't about the end result - since the only end result to life is death - it really is about getting everything I can from the journey.

Shooting Life Dirty

50 Dreams Accomplished on My Way to 101 Dreams Come True

I am a perfectionist and I don't do failure well. I'm accustomed to winning, to succeeding, and to getting what I set out to achieve. The thought of failing, of doing something in a mediocre way, has a freezing effect on me. I've been experiencing this freezing, or block on a regular basis these days as I try to go for more in my life.

This Saturday I'm going after my Novice moves test in skating. This test is a huge jump from the last and I've been working hard since last December to achieve the level it will take in order to pass. Many elite skaters fail this test the first couple of tries. Up until this point, I've passed every test with higher marks than necessary and the judges have complimented me on my test. This time I'm unsure if I have what it takes and I've been thinking of ways out of taking the test for fear that not only will I not pass above, but that I will actually fail.

Last night, as I stood in a beautiful vineyard, my camera in hand, I found myself rather shy in front of my teacher. Many times I saw a shot that he also saw, and instead of getting down and into it, I walked away looking for something different. I didn't want to show him any of my shots. Yet when I looked at the pictures he'd taken there were some great ones but many were things he'd throw out. As he's been teaching me he's talked about shooting dirty, not trying to make a shot perfectly framed and lighted, but letting the blips in perfection create a natural beauty.

If I could find a way to stop worrying about perfection and let myself shoot life dirty, then maybe I wouldn't be stressed. If I stop caring about failing and decide that each try is a learning experience and enjoy the moment, then...well goodness there would be nothing left to worry about. So on this journey of pursuing my dreams, I'm going to try to shoot life a little dirty and stop trying to make everything live up to this perfection I believe I'm supposed to accomplish. Let's see if it works. Heck I figured out how not to spend so much time on the computer, how hard can this be?

Half Way

51 Dreams Left on My List of 101 Dreams Come True

So it happened, I hit number fifty on my list of dreams. I haven't had time to update the website, so look for the description in the coming weeks.

I wanted the halfway mark to be something symbolic I could carry for the rest of my life. I decided the dream that would most fit this purpose would be to buy a beautiful piece of jewelry for myself. This way, whenever I wore the piece it would remind me that I had the courage to break through doubt and fear to go after what I really desired.

This dream, like many others, came about in an unusual way - my house was broken into, all of my jewelry was stolen, and I had insurance money to go shopping. I replaced much of the costume pieces by having a jewelry party with my girls. My mother gave me pearls for my birthday, but I couldn't find the one piece that I would want to wear forever as a reminder.

Then two days ago, as I was running errands, I saw a jewelry store. I went inside, and the first ring I saw was the one. A diamond center, set in white gold it curves around my finger with tiny leaves and more diamonds. It's a one of a kind piece designed by the jeweler of the store.

The greatest part of this purchase was meeting the woman who sold it to me. She said that her motto was to never settle for less. That at one point she was about to marry a doctor who seemed perfect on paper, but she wondered if she could spend her life making the relationship fit. She decided to walk away. Four months later she met a man in Border's and though he seemed wonderful she wasn't ready to exchange numbers. Little did she know that she employed one of his students and that her employee would overhear his teacher talking about the woman he met at the bookstore. The young man told his teacher where this amazing woman worked and brought the two of them together. They've now been married seventeen years with two beautiful children.

When I look at my ring, I remember how I decided not to settle in life. With fifty dreams come true, I've changed who I am, how I look at the world, and have fallen in love with life and myself. I'm still a work in progress. Doubt still walks with me as I pursue the rest of my dreams. I'm taking a skating test next Saturday as I try to accomplish my dream of reaching Senior Moves in figure skating, and I've been in a bad mood as I contemplate failing. I'm also trying to achieve things in my career and before I've even begun I see the failure that could happen. My fears haven't happened. I could just as easily see my endeavors in a positive light, yet my mind chooses to see the worst case scenario. I'm unsure why I still do this after all the miracles that have come into my life. Hopefully, when I reach 101 Dreams Come True, I will finally put these nagging thoughts to rest.

What a Glorious Way to Live

Fifty-two dreams left on my list of 101 Dreams Come True.

When I made my list of dreams,  I never thought that my dreams would happen more than once or change my life in such a drastic way.

I was in Napa Valley when I made my list and I wanted the chance to attend a private party at a winery. It was a simple passing thought of decadence, yet it turned out to be one of the first dreams to ever come true. Not only did I go to the Perez family vineyard for Fourth of July three weeks after making my list, but I returned last year and this year's celebration will find me back at the vineyard. I've become part of a family and no longer need an invitation.

But it turns out that this dream come true wasn't done. Last Saturday, my friend Maryland invited me to a private Renaissance party at Castello Di Amorosa in Napa.

As the sun set we arrived in a SUV limo. Dressed in period clothing, I wore a maiden's outfit with a wreath of flowers in my hair while Maryland wore a Paige's outfit.

We drank wine, watched jousting, played with swords, and sat in the king and queen's thrones all while taking in the beauty of the Napa Valley at sunset.

At night fall we headed to the banquet area and feasted on fresh vegetables, pork, chicken, and strawberries. Ginger cake, powdered cookies, and scones were paired with sweet wines while fire dancers entertained the crowd.

After dinner we walked through the castle, exploring the stone caves deep within the belly of the property. Here we found torture chambers and barrel rooms.

It was a night of laughter, which ended in new friendships and another one of my dreams coming true. James, the man I'm beheading, has offered to teach me photography. He's an incredible artist, and I'm ecstatic that he is willing to teach me his craft.

I'm realizing, that to pursue my dreams has opened my world in ways I never imagined. The way the dreams come is always a surprise, and so far each dream has exceeded what my mind could conjure. Here's to fifty-two more dreams coming true in mysterious magnificence. To live a life of dreams, to believe that they are possible, is the grandest way I can live.

How's your list going?

A Summer of Dreams

52 Dreams Left to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

I've been spending some quality time in a hammock along the American river. My friend brought it with him, when he came to visit from Chicago, and we set it up between two trees and spent a leisurely afternoon swinging while we stared at the sunlight coming through the leaves. Unfortunately, this is the only summery thing I've done.

For the most part, my June has been about work. Many opportunities are presenting themselves, doors are opening in unexpected ways, and I've been working long hours. Instead of going after my dreams,  I've been updating the website on the dreams that have already come true. I've been working on business models and marketing strategies in order to spread the idea that making a list of dreams and pursuing those dreams can change your life. I never expected to do any of these things. Heck, I didn't plan on creating a website, but as more people from around the globe find the site, I realize that there's a chance I might be able to inspire others.

I'm also skating my heart out. In order to pursue my dream of passing my senior moves in figure skating, I've been spending over ten hours per week on the ice to pass my next test - novice moves. It's a huge step up from the skater I am. Each time I step on the ice I'm afraid to do the moves, but each day they become easier. A minor fender bender in May slowed my progress when it caused my lower back to spasm, but with chiropractic I'm able to go after my dream. I don't know if I will pass the test, but I'm going to give it everything I have.

So June has been about work. Not that there hasn't been some decadence thrown in. I did go to Los Angeles for my birthday. And the weekend I spent with my friend from Chicago was filled with wine tastings, long lazy hammock naps, fancy dress-up dinners, and a few hours lounging in the park. Oh and I can't forget the decadent chocolate cake I had on Saturday night. But if I want this summer to be amazing I have to start making a plan to go after what I want: white water kayaking, bungee jumping, hang gliding, camping trips, salsa dancing, and a whole lot of outdoor fun.

I think I've built my life so big that I now need three of me to enjoy all of it.

What dreams do you want to come true this summer?
Check out the new discussion boards on the website and be one of the first to post.

What has Happened to Our Society?

Fifty-two dreams left on my list of 101 Dreams Come True


Last Friday night, I was visiting friends and they had the television on. There was a time in my life, when television was my main form of entertainment. My partner and I would Tivo our favorite shows and spend over three hours per night watching the silver box in the living room. During the day, I took many breaks from writing and turned on the t.v. in order to wind down my brain. I'm afraid to count the hours I spent in front of the television. I'm certain it would add up to months of my life wasted.


When I left the relationship I made a pact with myself not to watch television. If I was going to change my life, I needed to get away from watching other people living and go out and get active. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy the occasional show. I'm rather addicted to reruns of "Gilmore Girls" and I find "Modern Family" hilarious, but my life is much richer and fuller now that I've turned off the tube.


But back to my original point, I had no idea what people were watching these days. I hadn't heard of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians", "Holly", or "Dance Your Ass Off". I had never watched the "Bachelorette". I was shocked by how many people watch hours of over-privileged, spoiled, pathetic people with no real sense of morality fighting with one another and bitching about life. Why would someone waste their time watching this? I'm told the show is hilarious, and I'm not trying to judge, but how is this funny?


Then last night, in the desperate attempt to clear the vision of the Celtics losing badly to the Lakers, I changed the channel to a show where Jillian Michaels from "The Biggest Loser" goes into homes of people who are overweight and over-cluttered to help them change their lives. It's a great concept and something needed in our country, but I had to wonder what people from other countries must think about the fact that the U.S. needs so many shows to de-clutter and to lose weight. How have we become such a bloated, complacent, over-stuffed (in many ways not just food) culture? 


What has happened to our society? We have more in this country than any other place in the world. We have some of the best medical, every opportunity open to us, and as a friend from S. Africa put it, the poorest person in America is better off than a large population of the world. So why are so many people miserable? Why has it become okay to sit in a large house, dump junk food down your throat, and complain about life while ruining your health? Why don't people want more? Oh that's right, they get more by shopping and over-stuffing their garages and homes with things they don't need.

I hear too many complaints about the economy, our government, and the world today. Yet, I don't see Americans doing anything about it. If every person who sat and watched the Kardashian sisters scream at one another, got off the couch and went after their dreams of a better life, or yet helped change the state of our country, can you imagine what our world would be like? I can, and it's a much prettier picture than the one we have. Better yet, if all the hours that were spent on Facebook, "connecting" to other people, were spent with family or out doing something with actual people, could our world be a better place? I believe it could be.

People keep saying that it must be nice to be able to live a life in which I pursue my dreams. My response, turn off the television, Facebook, Twitter, and go out and live. And when I say turn off the internet stuff, I also mean that when you are out doing an activity stop updating your social network sites with what a great time you are having and actually spend time with the people around you. You might make deeper connections.

If Only I Could Twist My Brain Sooner

Fifty-two dreams left on my list of 101 Dreams Come True

I woke this morning thinking that I might be wrong in some of my thinking. The more I pondered, the more I began to wonder if as a society we have made serious mistakes in our thought process that leads to painful lives. You will have to bear with me, as these thoughts are coming from the recesses of my brain that have been smushed into submission by learned theories.

Yesterday, I received an email from a man with whom I'd shared a relationship for the last year. At times, he could be supportive of the website and my decision to pursue my dreams. At other times, he was angry, grumpy and distant when I spoke about actually pursuing anything that didn't include him. In the end he tried to change and was rather supportive when I went to Europe this last time, but while I traveled I realized how happy I was on my own. Upon returning, I didn't wish to be with him anymore. I'd spent eight months crying and no matter how much he said he changed I didn't wish to be hurt any longer or to fight to be who I am in a relationship. I didn't do this casually, I took time to think, but when I told him my choice his response was an email that went straight back to the fights that had made me cry for eight months.


When I received this man's email, I had to ask why I put up with hurting for so long. There was good in the relationship, and in some ways I was manipulated into falling into the beauty in a repeating pattern of good and then hurt. If I'm honest with myself, I stayed because in some ways I believed that by being this outgoing, independent woman, I was unlovable. There is still a certain idea of who a woman should be in a relationship and though I tried to fight the stigma I'm told on a regular basis that who I am is wrong.

Through the ups and downs of the last year I feared that I would end up alone; another reason I stayed. Yet, once I left, my happiness returned. I remembered who I was without the constant weight of the manipulation. In leaving, in feeling happy within myself, I woke up and wondered how I could've ever thought it was okay to be treated the way he treated me. Why couldn't my brain twist to this conclusions so much sooner?

I'm beginning to wonder how many other ideas keep me from living an even more incredible life. Maybe fighting to make something right isn't the way it's supposed to be. We are an intense society with our roots in hard work, determination, and struggle. I don't believe in complacency. I know I won't reach my goals without going after them, but maybe life is supposed to be about flowing instead of battling. And when something doesn't feel right, when it's an extreme struggle, maybe that's a sign that it's the wrong road.

Two Year Anniversary of 101 Dreams Come True List

Tomorrow is the two year anniversary of when I made my list of dreams. When I think of all that has changed in my life it amazes me that only two years have passed - thirty dreams have come to completion and my life is forever changed.

I've been thinking about the emotional state I was in when I made my list of dreams. I'd just celebrated my birthday with the present of tremendous heartache. I felt like my insides overflowed with pain and that my life had little purpose. I had no idea where I was going and I felt alone.

This past Friday I celebrated my birthday in a much different way. It started on Wednesday night, when my California parents threw me a dinner party that included lawn bowling, charades, and a whole lot of laughter and love. Friday was another party where I learned how to pole dance. (Ladies you have to try this. It's like being on the playground again, but in a sexier way.) Then my friends took me dancing. The next day, I went to Los Angeles for more celebration. I've been flooded with presents, lunches, friendship, well-wishes, flowers, and most importantly love and a sense of belonging.

Going after my dreams continues to open my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. I've been asked by someone who saw the site if I would consider speaking in El Salvador about going after dreams and focusing your mind to create the life you want. This man wants to create a foundation where we would use the website to sell fair trade products to create jobs in third world countries while inspiring people to go after their dreams of a better life. A similar opportunity is opening in Romania. I don't know if either will work, but I can dream that this journey of mine can not only change my life, but help others to change theirs as well.

In all that has come to me, I've realized that I need to stop putting a time limit on when I complete my list. I originally placed the time limit because I didn't want to lose my focus. Now that going after my dreams has become a deeper part of my being, I no longer want to rush the experience. I want this journey to take me where it will lead without preconceived notions or stress.

I've always viewed my birthday as my New Year. When I think about what I want for this coming year, I realize I want to live as decadently as I can - to taste life without fear, worry, or self-doubt. I want it all and in the process of living to the fullest I hope that I can also help others to do the same.

It's a decadent life if you want it to be - go live it that way.

The Question of Settling

744 Days to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

From the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The old man pointed to a baker standing in his shop window. "When he was a child, that man wanted to travel, too. But he decided first to buy his bakery and put some money aside. When he's an old man, he's going to spend a month in Africa. He never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."

According to Webster's dictionary the word 'settle' means: to accept despite complete satisfaction. I hate to say this, but I believe this describes most people's lives. They begin with big dreams and somehow, like the baker in the story of the Alchemist, they get stuck in a rut complaining about what they hate and dreaming of things changing without being willing to do the work.

The more I forge forward on this journey of settling for nothing less than magnificence in my life, the more I see and hear how people settle. I didn't notice before. In fact, many times I was jealous of others lives that seemed more stable. I'm not saying that everyone is settling. You don't have to want to go after 101 dreams in order to be happy. But too many people tell me about their unhappiness and make excuses for why they can't change something.

There's always a way. At any moment you can change your life and go after your dreams. It might not be easy. No one ever said this journey of mine is all peaches and cream. Though I must say it's much easier than what I thought it was going to be. I spent five years afraid and all I had to do was step out of my fear. I was terrified to take that first step. The months after seemed the most painful of my life - yet when I look back I don't see the hurt but the strength that came from the pain and how much I grew.

At any time, your dreams are just a step away. They may take work, risk, a complete change, but they're possible. I'm living proof of that, and I'm no different than you.

A Mother's Belief

756 Days to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

After nine hours of sleep last night, I've recovered from the fun this weekend. Friday night was a trip to a 1920's saloon where I did a little swing dancing, made a few friends, and somehow ended up at a truck-stop for pancakes with a strange need to buy a Betty Boop picture frame (I didn't give in to temptation, but at three in the morning it seemed like a great idea). Saturday found me surrounded by friends, music, and art at Sacramento's Art Walk where I won a certificate to a spa. Add in a street festival and a great movie and it was a full weekend.

On Sunday, I had the gift of taking my Sacramento mom to brunch for Mother's day. As we sat eating yummy food and listening to the live performers singing in Spanish,  I told my California mom about all the great memories I have of my mother, who I couldn't hug yesterday due to an entire country being between us.

My favorite childhood memory is of my mother wrapping her arms around me and singing, "Me and my baby together are we. Don't know nobody as happy as we. When we're together we're great company. I love my baby, my baby loves me." My mother always sang little ditties and did cute dances to make me smile. Now we talk on the phone once per week for a few hours, and I only see her two to three times per year, yet I don't feel the distance. I carry her in my heart and with every dream come true, I thank her for the gift she gave me.

My mother was the one who taught me to dream. When I was a child, finances were tight and we had very little. My mother worked fifteen years at a job she hated to provide the essentials and the little extras when she could. She wanted more for my brother and I so she taught us meditation, visualization,  and creating vision boards for the things we desired. She told us on a regular basis that we could have our dreams.

I think when I sat in the park that day wondering how to change my life, it was my mother's teachings that brought me to make the list. If I could envision what I wanted then I could achieve it. Her early lessons showed me that life could be miraculous. I guess that's why I've decided to make this journey public - I'm trying to give others the gift my mother gave to me.

Thank you mom, for everything you've given me. With all my love, Marci

Someday Never Comes

759 Days to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

A girlfriend asked me if I had faith that she'd change her life. In the past I would've pacified her fears and said how I believed in her strength while keeping my real opinions inside. But before I could stop my mouth I said, "I believe we'll be having this same conversation five years from now just as we've had it for the last two. I think you will continue to make excuses, daydream about the day when you will be free from the pain, and you won't do anything about it."

"Why can't you just have faith in me?" she yelled. "I need you to tell me that I can do this and that everything will be okay. I need you to be my friend."

I realized at this moment that there's a high to believing things will change. The daydream is safe. The motivational conversations addictive. There is a comfort in the word 'someday'.  When you live this way you don't have to take responsibility for your own life. You can live in a fantasy that has nothing to do with reality. It's not until you take the step to change what you dislike that you find out what the truth looks like.

Too many people in this world dream of someday. Someday they will travel, be the weight they want, leave their dead marriage, get out of the boring job, be rich, feel safe, etc. Someday doesn't come. Today is the day you have. If there is something you hate about your life no amount of faith from someone else can change it; no amount of talking about what bothers you will make a difference. Motivational seminars and quotes aren't going to bring you to the life you long for.

The only way to live the life of your dreams is to stop talking about it and do it. Fear is always going to walk with you. Failure is going to be a possibility. Both are better than stagnation and living in a dream world that doesn't exist.

A Day to Savor Life

762 Days to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

Since I'm a travel addict, most of the dreams on my list are about seeing the world. I love being on the road, each day a new adventure as I take in the sights, sounds, tastes, and experiences of being someplace I've never been. On my last trip, I realized that this need to travel has more to do with the person I become rather than the places I visit.

When I travel, life becomes about the moment. I wake each morning feeling as if my day is a present about to be unwrapped and I get excited to find out what will be revealed: a new friend, food I've never tried, or something that takes my breath away. Even getting lost and missed trains are adventures. When I'm home, life becomes about tasks that need to be done, and sometimes I'm so overwhelmed I forget how to experience life from my travel perspective.

You don't have to get on a plane to have an adventure. Your backyard or just a few miles down the road can hold excitement and presents yet to be unwrapped. It's the attitude by which you approach the world and your day that will create what happens.

Most people plan their outings. Today we will go to wine country, visit these vineyards, eat at this restaurant, and then be home by this time. Or they head to the ocean, making their way directly to the hotel and then to the activities they've read about in books or have done in the past.

I challenge you to make a day this month a surprise adventure. Wake-up and with each step you take be present in the moment. Go to a new cafe or sit outside to eat your breakfast, but make certain what you eat is something you've never tried. Stop and savor the taste as if you were on a leisurely vacation. Then go for a walk or into a part of town you've always liked. A gourmet food shop is a great place to visit because it holds many treasures of things you've never tried. If you enjoy reading, go to a park with the best cup of coffee in town and a little dessert and spend time reading, drinking, looking at the scenery and people taking time to notice the little details of life.

Another way to have a great adventure is to pack an overnight bag and get in your car. Point the automobile in a direction and see where it takes you. Once again, take in your surroundings. You have no place you need to be, so you don't have to focus on when you'll arrive. If something looks interesting stop and enjoy the moment. When you fall in love with a place, find a hotel and stay.

The point of this exercise is to relish how decadent and exciting life can be. It's all about the experience not the completion of a goal. Too many times, life is about rushing from one place to another without stopping to enjoy living. So take the time and give yourself the gift of a day where all you do is savor life.

Throwing Out the Guidebook: The Best Way to A Great Vacation

767 Days to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

Nine years ago I started traveling the world. I've been to Europe, Africa, Central America, Asia, New Zealand, and throughout the U.S. and Canada. You would think that my bookcase would be filled with guide books but it's not. The last time I bought a guide book was nine years ago.

Most people buy their guide book before their trip and plan out an itinerary. Not unlike an organized tour, they have planned every moment of their vacation trying to fit in too much. They leave little space for the unexpected or stepping off the tourist path. For some this kind of trip is great. Many people like to fit in as much as possible while barely experiencing anything. Take for example the people who rush through the Louvre snapping pictures of artwork with their iphones and then moving on. Have they really looked at the Mona Lisa - well how can anyone look at it with all the flashbulbs going off?

Ask anyone about their last vacation and I guarantee that they will talk about seeing the big tourist attractions, but their eyes will light up when they tell you the story of the unexpected that happened while away: the bakery they found where they got their coffee each morning and spoke with the locals; the children who wanted their pictures taken; the person they met on a train who they spent the day with; or even how they got lost on a hike. It's the surprises people remember the most. The other problem with planning an itinerary is that if you're too tired one day to march through museums you can change things at the last minute without feeling like you missed out. This way you experience your trip in a more relaxed manner.

So how do you travel without a guidebook? How do you find your way around? How will you know where to eat or what to see?

Here are a few suggestions for making your next trip an adventure you will never forget. First, go online and look for hotels in your price range through a site like Kayak.com. Then go to TripAdvisor and look for reviews of the hotels listed - better than any guidebook, real travelers give their honest opinions. It's a good way to find out if there are bedbugs or if there is construction going on next door. Guidebooks are often outdated, but you can read a review from someone who stayed at the hotel the week before. I don't like spending time booking accommodations while on the road because it takes time away from my vacation, but it can easily be done from a computer once you've arrived. Always book your first night because you will be exhausted from travel.

Once you have your accommodations and transportation, pack your bags and get on the plane. While in the airport look around for the person or group that looks like they're heading home. Approach them and say, "Hi, I'm visiting blank for the first time and I was wondering if you have any suggestions for what I should see while I'm there?"

People love to share their enthusiasm for the place they live. Approaching someone often opens a lively conversation that also makes the wait in the airport fly by. When you get to your hotel, go to the front desk or the concierge and tell them that you're interested in visiting the city more like a local, but that you also want to see the main highlights. The person will pull out a map and give you all the information you need. Make certain to take it one step further and ask, "What are your favorite things to do?" This opens the person up to share their love of the city or place they live. Many times they will send you to local restaurants never found in guidebooks (Note: Always try to eat away from main attractions - the prices and food are tourist and not the local flavor. Even going one block further will give you a better chance for a nice meal). If the hotel offers you tours, ask them how you can do the same thing by using public transportation. Sometimes these people work on commission or they are afraid you will be lost and will tell you it's impossible to do things without a tour. Thank them and move on. It's always possible to go without a tour and it will save you mucho bucks.

Now a word about getting lost. I highly recommend it. Since your time isn't booked to the max with a specific itinerary you won't be stressed about missing out on anything. Take a wrong turn, (should be done only in daylight), ask for directions, while you're at it, stop in at a little shop that looks interesting, wander without aim, people watch. On my perfect day in Paris, I walked in a direction without a plan and ended up in the best gelato shop and then found a tiny store with handmade designer clothing. If you're in a car, take that road that looks like it leads to nowhere. Stop and see the fields on the side of the road.

You might wonder about language barriers. Smiles, hand gestures and pointing at maps (which you can get at any train station or airport from the information booths) works great. It might not be the right place, but you're in a foreign place, it's all part of the experience.

So here's the real question. Are you willing to give up the idea of what your adventure should be like? Are you willing to let go of control and living safe in exchange for living in the moment? Sure go ahead and reserve tickets at the Uffizi so you don't stand in long lines, but leave the rest to chance. You may see less, but you will experience more.

If you're unsure of doing this in a foreign country stay tuned for my next blog on how to do this right around the corner from your house.

Multitasking Overload

770  Days to Complete 101 Dreams Come True

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend while I was doing my hair, getting dressed, and eating a quick snack. At the same time, she was driving and telling me how she just rushed out her door with a Power Bar dangling from her mouth as she juggled all the items she needed for a skating competition. I always thought that the ability to multitask was a good quality, but I'm beginning to rethink my opinion.

Since returning from Europe, I've noticed how much I multitask. I'll throw food on the stove and then walk away. Then in my mad dash to complete other tasks I forget to return to the kitchen and many meals have had a charred taste to them. I've eaten many meals at my computer or while reading books without paying attention to what I was putting in my mouth (not a bad thing considering how the food tasted, but otherwise not a healthy way to eat).

What I've realized about living this way is that it's impossible to enjoy the moment. How can you taste the food you're eating while running out the door, driving, or working? How can you be present in a conversation when you're distracted by doing housework?

I've also found that multitasking is inefficient. While I was in Europe I felt like I had extra time. I was on vacation and the typical worries of cleaning a home or running errands were gone, but I was surprised at how much I did in a day. It wasn't unusual to start my morning with an hour work-out, cook a nice breakfast and sit and enjoy it, then take a long bubble bath and get ready for the day. I walked to the train or bus and traveled an hour or more each day on public transportation. I spent hours in museums, shops, and restaurants. I walked almost five hours per day and had time for leisurely conversations with the people I met. I cooked dinner almost every night. I wrote, payed my bills, worked, emailed friends, and did photography. I never felt stressed.

In America, stress and being overwhelmed is a sign of success. If you work long hours, overload your life, complete three tasks at once, you have a full life. I think we're doing it wrong. We've stopped enjoying the moment and we live in the to-do lists of life (not the fun life-lists). Then we fall into exhaustion in front of a computer or television.

Maybe we need a lifestyle remodel. If we stop feeling guilty about enjoying life we might be healthier, happier, and more engaged in enjoyment. If we give up multitasking along with our technology addictions, we might have more focus to complete individual tasks. I'm going to give it a try and see how it works. I want to bring the person I was in Europe home to the USA. If I can't, I think my only other option will be to move to Europe.