47 Dreams Left on the Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True
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Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Being Enough
47 Dreams Left on the Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True
For the last two weeks, I've spent many hours in front of my computer going after my biggest dream - to have my fiction novel published. Though I finished the novel and have an amazing agent who loves the story, the novel has yet to see a publishing deal. My agent and I decided we needed to find ways to improve the story. So for the last two weeks, I re-entered the world of my characters and lived their lives, bringing some changes to how they saw the world.
While I was writing the novel, I lived in fear: would I be enough; did I have the talent; could I make it perfect; would this be my last chance? I realized that the dreams that are the most difficult to go after are the ones that take persistence and that will challenge me for years. It's not hard to get on a plane and go to another country anymore. It takes money and planning, but it's something that I've become comfortable doing. Jumping out of airplanes, or hang gliding, is an adrenaline rush that pushes my fear button, but once again I know I'm going to love the moment.
This morning I realized that the dreams that make me doubt myself are the ones that take courage to continue when there's no instant gratification. I have no idea if my novel will be published. My dream to complete my senior moves in figure skating will take years of dedication and hard work; I wonder if I will have the stamina to keep going through injuries, failures, and exhaustion. And the dream to say how I feel without need or expectation is not an easy one for me.
Last Sunday, I sank to my knees and cried my heart out. The pressure I had put on myself had become so intense that I felt wasted and drained. I wasn't a good enough writer and I couldn't make the story what I desired it to be. I hadn't skated much in the past month, how would I ever complete my dream of passing the tests. I needed to tell a coach that I needed someone different, but I was afraid of the consequences of hurting her so I was willing to stay where I was. I looked at the constant risk of going after my dreams and thought, this is kicking my butt.
On Friday, for better or worse, I turned in my novel to my agent. I spent the weekend celebrating the accomplishment. Then yesterday, I returned to the mindset of reaching for my goals and making lists of what needed to be done. Then my pastor said something I needed to hear, "You are already enough. Go sit in the sun and think of the sun as love. You don't have to be anything to receive sunlight. You don't have to be different or better, you just have to be who you are."
I realized that in my passion to complete my dreams and achieve my goals, I'm so afraid that I won't be enough, or that I'm taking the wrong path, that I feel like I must forge ahead without stopping. But it's when I play, let go, enjoy what I'm doing or what I'm working on, that life is sweeter.
I will always embrace challenges. It's a high to be extreme and push myself to the brink, but every once in awhile I need to step back and say, "I don't need to be more right now, I'm enough."
For the last two weeks, I've spent many hours in front of my computer going after my biggest dream - to have my fiction novel published. Though I finished the novel and have an amazing agent who loves the story, the novel has yet to see a publishing deal. My agent and I decided we needed to find ways to improve the story. So for the last two weeks, I re-entered the world of my characters and lived their lives, bringing some changes to how they saw the world.
While I was writing the novel, I lived in fear: would I be enough; did I have the talent; could I make it perfect; would this be my last chance? I realized that the dreams that are the most difficult to go after are the ones that take persistence and that will challenge me for years. It's not hard to get on a plane and go to another country anymore. It takes money and planning, but it's something that I've become comfortable doing. Jumping out of airplanes, or hang gliding, is an adrenaline rush that pushes my fear button, but once again I know I'm going to love the moment.
This morning I realized that the dreams that make me doubt myself are the ones that take courage to continue when there's no instant gratification. I have no idea if my novel will be published. My dream to complete my senior moves in figure skating will take years of dedication and hard work; I wonder if I will have the stamina to keep going through injuries, failures, and exhaustion. And the dream to say how I feel without need or expectation is not an easy one for me.
Last Sunday, I sank to my knees and cried my heart out. The pressure I had put on myself had become so intense that I felt wasted and drained. I wasn't a good enough writer and I couldn't make the story what I desired it to be. I hadn't skated much in the past month, how would I ever complete my dream of passing the tests. I needed to tell a coach that I needed someone different, but I was afraid of the consequences of hurting her so I was willing to stay where I was. I looked at the constant risk of going after my dreams and thought, this is kicking my butt.
On Friday, for better or worse, I turned in my novel to my agent. I spent the weekend celebrating the accomplishment. Then yesterday, I returned to the mindset of reaching for my goals and making lists of what needed to be done. Then my pastor said something I needed to hear, "You are already enough. Go sit in the sun and think of the sun as love. You don't have to be anything to receive sunlight. You don't have to be different or better, you just have to be who you are."
I will always embrace challenges. It's a high to be extreme and push myself to the brink, but every once in awhile I need to step back and say, "I don't need to be more right now, I'm enough."
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tallest Roller Coaster in the World
47 Dreams Left to Complete 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com
When a roller coaster has a 428 ft drop, goes over 128 miles per hour, and gives a face-lift the second it takes off, how could it not be one of my 101 Dreams Come True?
Riding coasters makes me feel like a kid. I love how my heart slightly races as I hear the click of the cars moving up the hill, inching over the top, and then rushing downward, my stomach in my chest as I scream at the top of my lungs.
When I realized the tallest coaster in the world was close to my childhood home I thought it would be an easy dream to complete. Every October I travel to Boston to see fall foliage. In order to achieve my dream I simply needed to rent a car and drive the five hours from Boston to the amusement park. The year I made my list, I planned to achieve this dream, but weather fouled my plans. The second year, again rain was in the forecast.
By the third trip home, determination had taken over. I was going to ride this coaster even if I had to do it with water pelting my face. Things seemed to be on track as I made plans with a friend to drive to the park. I flew home, rented a car, and was ready to have a blast at the amusement park. Two days before our big adventure, my friend had to back out. I’m comfortable doing my dreams alone, even enjoy it, but I didn’t want to play in an amusement park by myself. I asked numerous friends to accompany me, and though many were excited to join in, one by one they came up with excuses: the drive was too long; they’d have to get up early; they’d be tired the next day; if only they’d known sooner. “Do it next year,” my friends said. I thought about taking their advice, but I’d made the promise that if the opportunity to make a dream come true came to me, I had to do it.
I decided I would go alone. There could be no excuses when it came to making a dream come true. Roadblocks wouldn’t stop me.
It turned out that universe had a better plan for my dream than I could’ve imagined. My girlfriend from California, who’d been traveling in China and Romania the past year, was in New York City and she was willing to join me. I drove four hours alone, picked her up outside the city, and went to the park.
With blue skies and sixty-five degree weather, the park was crowded for late October. We made our way to the roller coaster only to find out that it had been shut down for over an hour. As we walked away, the line started to move and the ride re-opened. It took us only half an hour to reach the front of the line and we decided to wait the extra time to sit in the front seats.
We sat down, the ride moved forward, and stopped. I looked at its tall hill, so unlike any other coaster I’d ridden. Would it even be good? I wondered. Where was the hill you slowly clicked up? Where were the rolling ups and downs where you put your hands up so you were lifted out of your seat? I’d come all this way for this?
Then the ride moved. Or should I say shot like a rocket with such force I felt my skin pulling as if I were skydiving. We twisted and turned up to the crest and then slowed as we came over the top of the hill. For one moment I took in the view - miles of trees bright with the colors of fall. Then I was falling, shooting back to the earth with incredible force and up over the final hill. I screamed with joy as my arms went over my head.
I felt the rush of living to the maximum. Hyper with adrenaline my friend and I laughed our way back to the line planning to ride again, but now there was a four hour wait.
We rode only two other coasters that day due to the crowds. We spent hours in line, yet, it was a day I will never forget as I caught up with my dear friend sharing stories of our year and how we’re choosing to pursue our dreams. Maybe it’s crazy to drive eleven hours in one day for three minutes of ride time, but I think a little crazy in life makes living that much more fun.
www.101dreamscometrue.com
When a roller coaster has a 428 ft drop, goes over 128 miles per hour, and gives a face-lift the second it takes off, how could it not be one of my 101 Dreams Come True? Riding coasters makes me feel like a kid. I love how my heart slightly races as I hear the click of the cars moving up the hill, inching over the top, and then rushing downward, my stomach in my chest as I scream at the top of my lungs.
When I realized the tallest coaster in the world was close to my childhood home I thought it would be an easy dream to complete. Every October I travel to Boston to see fall foliage. In order to achieve my dream I simply needed to rent a car and drive the five hours from Boston to the amusement park. The year I made my list, I planned to achieve this dream, but weather fouled my plans. The second year, again rain was in the forecast.
By the third trip home, determination had taken over. I was going to ride this coaster even if I had to do it with water pelting my face. Things seemed to be on track as I made plans with a friend to drive to the park. I flew home, rented a car, and was ready to have a blast at the amusement park. Two days before our big adventure, my friend had to back out. I’m comfortable doing my dreams alone, even enjoy it, but I didn’t want to play in an amusement park by myself. I asked numerous friends to accompany me, and though many were excited to join in, one by one they came up with excuses: the drive was too long; they’d have to get up early; they’d be tired the next day; if only they’d known sooner. “Do it next year,” my friends said. I thought about taking their advice, but I’d made the promise that if the opportunity to make a dream come true came to me, I had to do it.
I decided I would go alone. There could be no excuses when it came to making a dream come true. Roadblocks wouldn’t stop me.
It turned out that universe had a better plan for my dream than I could’ve imagined. My girlfriend from California, who’d been traveling in China and Romania the past year, was in New York City and she was willing to join me. I drove four hours alone, picked her up outside the city, and went to the park.
With blue skies and sixty-five degree weather, the park was crowded for late October. We made our way to the roller coaster only to find out that it had been shut down for over an hour. As we walked away, the line started to move and the ride re-opened. It took us only half an hour to reach the front of the line and we decided to wait the extra time to sit in the front seats.
We sat down, the ride moved forward, and stopped. I looked at its tall hill, so unlike any other coaster I’d ridden. Would it even be good? I wondered. Where was the hill you slowly clicked up? Where were the rolling ups and downs where you put your hands up so you were lifted out of your seat? I’d come all this way for this?
Then the ride moved. Or should I say shot like a rocket with such force I felt my skin pulling as if I were skydiving. We twisted and turned up to the crest and then slowed as we came over the top of the hill. For one moment I took in the view - miles of trees bright with the colors of fall. Then I was falling, shooting back to the earth with incredible force and up over the final hill. I screamed with joy as my arms went over my head. I felt the rush of living to the maximum. Hyper with adrenaline my friend and I laughed our way back to the line planning to ride again, but now there was a four hour wait.
We rode only two other coasters that day due to the crowds. We spent hours in line, yet, it was a day I will never forget as I caught up with my dear friend sharing stories of our year and how we’re choosing to pursue our dreams. Maybe it’s crazy to drive eleven hours in one day for three minutes of ride time, but I think a little crazy in life makes living that much more fun.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
You Have to Laugh
48 Dreams Left on the Way to 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com
This week I'm in New England seeing the fall foliage, roaming through shops in Boston, visiting family and friends, and spending time soaking up the place that will always be home to me.
Yesterday, my mother received an email recounting a story from the "Tonight Show". While we read the email my mother and I laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. The story has brought continued giggles throughout the week. I thought I'd give you a break from my usual musings about life and going after dreams to share this funny story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold... And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chill cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
Of course this story caused my mother, aunt and I to share our most embarrassing first date stories. Mine had to do with the smell of garbage...and I'm going to leave it at that.
www.101dreamscometrue.com
Yesterday, my mother received an email recounting a story from the "Tonight Show". While we read the email my mother and I laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. The story has brought continued giggles throughout the week. I thought I'd give you a break from my usual musings about life and going after dreams to share this funny story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold... And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chill cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
Of course this story caused my mother, aunt and I to share our most embarrassing first date stories. Mine had to do with the smell of garbage...and I'm going to leave it at that.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Getting Out of Debt: The Power of Focus
48 Dreams Left on the Way to Making 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com
Today's blog is about a friend who has made a radical change in her life. For privacy purposes I will call her Sheila.
When Sheila was in her early twenties she lost both her parents: her mother to breast cancer, her father to a heart attack. Her brother took over the family home, but when he moved to Florida Sheila bought her parent's home. She worked hard as a retail manager and as a graphic designer to make ends meet. Having no immediate family in the area, she found friends who welcomed her into their lives as sister and daughter. For years, she tried to keep up with the massive repairs on the older home, but as a single person working sometimes two jobs, it became harder to keep up.
About five years ago, in the mortgage upswing, she refinanced her home to pay off bills, make repairs on her house and truck, and to get a better rate. The mortgage company wasn't a large institution but one of those companies you hear about in the news. About a year after she refinanced, the company was sold and her loan changed. Suddenly she had to come up with large sums of money to keep her home. She lived in constant stress as the house fell into disrepair. I watched my friend desperately trying to make it all work. She continually said, "I make enough money to pay the mortgage. It's cheaper than rent would be, but the mortgage company keeps side-swiping me. I can't lose my parents home."
Two years ago, she had to walk away. Many people have done the same, having gotten into loans bigger than they could handle or from job loss, but this wasn't her case. Saying goodbye to her family's home hurt her to the core of her being.
But Sheila's the type of person who keeps going. Always willing to help a friend, she keeps a smile on her face for the world to see. I knew she was battling to pay down her debt, but I had no idea how deep the house had taken her until she said, "In one year, I've paid off $35,000 of my debt and I only have a few thousand left. I brought my credit score up over two hundred points."
I almost cried as I asked her, "How did you do it?"
"I just decided to I focus on myself instead of all the drama around me. I worked really hard, cut my expenses, and only went out to eat on really special occasions. I still did the things I loved, but instead of doing them six times a month I did them once."
As I go after my list of 101 dreams come true, I hear people say that they can't go after their dreams because of their impossible financial situation. I hear the excuse that the economy is bad and that it isn't the right time. Sheila not only paid off her debt, but became a Special Olympics coach and local board member. This year, she traveled the country cheering on her athletes. She's also started her own business. She not only paid off her debt, but she made her life bigger than before.
When you think your dreams are impossible, realize that there's always a way. My friend works two jobs, and doesn't make anywhere close to six figures per year and yet she did this. The next time you don't think you can change your life, I hope you remember her story. When you focus your mind, anything is possible. I know her story inspired me.
www.101dreamscometrue.com
When Sheila was in her early twenties she lost both her parents: her mother to breast cancer, her father to a heart attack. Her brother took over the family home, but when he moved to Florida Sheila bought her parent's home. She worked hard as a retail manager and as a graphic designer to make ends meet. Having no immediate family in the area, she found friends who welcomed her into their lives as sister and daughter. For years, she tried to keep up with the massive repairs on the older home, but as a single person working sometimes two jobs, it became harder to keep up.
About five years ago, in the mortgage upswing, she refinanced her home to pay off bills, make repairs on her house and truck, and to get a better rate. The mortgage company wasn't a large institution but one of those companies you hear about in the news. About a year after she refinanced, the company was sold and her loan changed. Suddenly she had to come up with large sums of money to keep her home. She lived in constant stress as the house fell into disrepair. I watched my friend desperately trying to make it all work. She continually said, "I make enough money to pay the mortgage. It's cheaper than rent would be, but the mortgage company keeps side-swiping me. I can't lose my parents home."
Two years ago, she had to walk away. Many people have done the same, having gotten into loans bigger than they could handle or from job loss, but this wasn't her case. Saying goodbye to her family's home hurt her to the core of her being.
But Sheila's the type of person who keeps going. Always willing to help a friend, she keeps a smile on her face for the world to see. I knew she was battling to pay down her debt, but I had no idea how deep the house had taken her until she said, "In one year, I've paid off $35,000 of my debt and I only have a few thousand left. I brought my credit score up over two hundred points."
I almost cried as I asked her, "How did you do it?"
"I just decided to I focus on myself instead of all the drama around me. I worked really hard, cut my expenses, and only went out to eat on really special occasions. I still did the things I loved, but instead of doing them six times a month I did them once."
As I go after my list of 101 dreams come true, I hear people say that they can't go after their dreams because of their impossible financial situation. I hear the excuse that the economy is bad and that it isn't the right time. Sheila not only paid off her debt, but became a Special Olympics coach and local board member. This year, she traveled the country cheering on her athletes. She's also started her own business. She not only paid off her debt, but she made her life bigger than before.
When you think your dreams are impossible, realize that there's always a way. My friend works two jobs, and doesn't make anywhere close to six figures per year and yet she did this. The next time you don't think you can change your life, I hope you remember her story. When you focus your mind, anything is possible. I know her story inspired me.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Complacency
48 Dreams Left on the Way to Making 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com
Last week a friend told me she wanted to change something about her life. I asked her what she wanted to do in order to make that change and she replied with a laugh, "Nothing. I just want it to happen."
I couldn't understand her complacency towards something important. Often people look at how I live and say, "It must be nice." They act as if a wand has been waved over my head and everything I desire just magically comes to me. In some ways, since making my list of dreams, my life feels as if there's a miraculous energy creating a path for my dreams to come true. In truth, I work hard, push to have what I want, settle for nothing less than magnificence, say 'yes' to the opportunities that come my way, and at times I'm exhausted with how much I do in order to have what I desire.
Too many people are complacent about life. They get comfortable with a routine and though they want more, they don't push themselves to step out of their rut. Many times they blame something or someone on why they can't have what they desire and look for new personal relationships to make them feel alive again.
This past weekend some friends and I took six children camping. I watched as the kids stood in muddy water up to their knees catching tiny fish in plastic cups. They swung in the hammock laughing together, then ran off to find secret hiding places in the woods. The littlest one found a kitten and she spent half an hour patiently creeping towards it to make friends. More than once, I heard the words "I'm bored" when they couldn't find something new to keep them entertained.
Children find the world intriguing. They're excited to explore and they can't sit still for very long. When they're upset, they voice their emotions, crying them out until the pain passes, then run to play again. They see the world in a beautiful light where laughter is a part of their daily routine.
I'm not sure what happens on the way to adulthood that we forget how to really taste life. At some point we become complacent. I think many times it's when our lives haven't measured up to the vision we had as young adults. We give up on our dreams and allow fear, daily pressures, and past emotions to be our excuses. But what if everyday we searched for new ways to enjoy life - to explore our world and our relationships? What if we used the hours watching television to laugh, have a pillow fight with a kid, enjoy a sunset, play a new instrument, jump on a trampoline, or plan a getaway.
In going after my dreams I feel as if there isn't enough time in one life to experience everything I desire, and I've made over thirty-four of my big dreams come true in the last two years. But in going after the big things, I've learned to enjoy the little things as if they were as big as my most spectacular dreams - like roasting marshmallows by a campfire or just going to a park to read a book.
So many people say that they don't have time to do what they want in life. But they only have one life to explore this incredible world. How can they not make the time to enjoy it?
www.101dreamscometrue.com
Last week a friend told me she wanted to change something about her life. I asked her what she wanted to do in order to make that change and she replied with a laugh, "Nothing. I just want it to happen."
I couldn't understand her complacency towards something important. Often people look at how I live and say, "It must be nice." They act as if a wand has been waved over my head and everything I desire just magically comes to me. In some ways, since making my list of dreams, my life feels as if there's a miraculous energy creating a path for my dreams to come true. In truth, I work hard, push to have what I want, settle for nothing less than magnificence, say 'yes' to the opportunities that come my way, and at times I'm exhausted with how much I do in order to have what I desire.
Too many people are complacent about life. They get comfortable with a routine and though they want more, they don't push themselves to step out of their rut. Many times they blame something or someone on why they can't have what they desire and look for new personal relationships to make them feel alive again.
Children find the world intriguing. They're excited to explore and they can't sit still for very long. When they're upset, they voice their emotions, crying them out until the pain passes, then run to play again. They see the world in a beautiful light where laughter is a part of their daily routine.
I'm not sure what happens on the way to adulthood that we forget how to really taste life. At some point we become complacent. I think many times it's when our lives haven't measured up to the vision we had as young adults. We give up on our dreams and allow fear, daily pressures, and past emotions to be our excuses. But what if everyday we searched for new ways to enjoy life - to explore our world and our relationships? What if we used the hours watching television to laugh, have a pillow fight with a kid, enjoy a sunset, play a new instrument, jump on a trampoline, or plan a getaway.In going after my dreams I feel as if there isn't enough time in one life to experience everything I desire, and I've made over thirty-four of my big dreams come true in the last two years. But in going after the big things, I've learned to enjoy the little things as if they were as big as my most spectacular dreams - like roasting marshmallows by a campfire or just going to a park to read a book.
So many people say that they don't have time to do what they want in life. But they only have one life to explore this incredible world. How can they not make the time to enjoy it?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
A Vision of Feminism
48 Dreams Left on My Way to Completing 101 Dreams Come True
www.101dreamscometrue.com
Jennifer Sleeman, an 80-year-old woman, from Ireland asked the faithful women of her country to boycott Sunday Mass on September 26, 2010. She wanted “to let the Vatican and the Irish church know that women are tired of being treated as second-class citizens." Her call moved beyond her own country to a worldwide cry for women to stay at home and pray for change. She claimed that women were the majority of the church and that together they had the strength to tell the patriarchal heir achy that the power of the pews comes from women.
My Pastor was upset when he heard that women of his parish were considering walking out on September 26th. Our church is an open, loving community, where all people are accepted and treated equal. I could see why Father Anthony might be hurt when I told him that women, even in his parish, were angry, but he listened as I spoke. I told him that as women we are taught from an early age that we are second class and that the men of biblical times were important while the women were mainly whores, crazy, or simply unimportant. There are scriptures about women, but few are read during mass that give women a sense of pride. During mass on September 26th, he acknowledged the women of our church and the important role we play so that healing could begin. It was a step towards change with a long journey ahead.
I was born a feminist. By the age of five, I'd decided I'd never take a man's name. I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to become a priest or even an altar girl. I wanted to know why professional sports were all about men. I was angry whenever I was told that I was a pretty girl and should marry rich. Even the women in my life, who always told me I could do anything, still instilled the idea that I needed to know how to cook and clean to be a proper wife someday.
As I grew into a young woman, I encountered feminist who ridiculed me for how I dressed and lived. They felt because I wore high heels, make-up, feminine dresses, and allowed men to open doors for me, that somehow I lessened the female gender. I disagreed.
There is a power in being a woman. It has nothing to do with hair color or breast size. It comes from the softness of being feminine, and within that softness is a power equal to, if not stronger than, the warrior spirit of a man. A man becomes speechless at the sight of a confident, sexy woman, who knows who she is. When that same woman looks at a man with love and the need to be loved, his heart belongs to her. Since the beginning of time men's Achilles heels have been women and the fear of women's power caused femininity to be suppressed.
Somehow in our need to find equality, women haven't turned to this power, instead they've tried to become more like warrior men. I think this has left many men wondering who they are supposed to be in relationships, in the work place, and in life. They've been asked to be softer, more emotional, and many are unsure if they are supposed to open a door for a lady and pay for dinner or if they are insulting the woman when they do so. It has created a generation of lost gender identities and many men have become what my friend calls, 'flow boys', I'll go with whatever you want me to be. A therapist once told me, "We are trying so hard to build our girls that we are burying our men." This leads to women being frustrated, men being lost, and no one being able to be who they really are. In our search for equality as women, we've somehow decided that men need to be less or different. How is this any better?
I was speaking to my friend Jane from Midlifeblogger, and she said, "The definition of feminism, is that women should be able to be whatever they need to be without judgment while being treated equal to their male counters. If a woman wants to stay home and raise her babies she can still be a feminist." Then she added, "You my dear, are the face of the new feminism. You can be independent, travel the world, like who you are, speak your mind, and still allow yourself to be a feminine, soft spirit."
The more I go after my dreams and seek a life where I believe I can have it all, the more comfortable I become with who I am. I've come to realize that I love being a woman and as I embrace my femininity, my softer side, I feel more power in who I am.
For many years, men have dominated. There are women who believe that it is our time to be on top and that men should be lessened in order for balance. In truth, women aren't conquerors and to become like men would only create more masculine imbalance. In our softness we need to see, that it is in accepting one another for the true spirits we are that we can find balance, equality, and happiness.
www.101dreamscometrue.com
My Pastor was upset when he heard that women of his parish were considering walking out on September 26th. Our church is an open, loving community, where all people are accepted and treated equal. I could see why Father Anthony might be hurt when I told him that women, even in his parish, were angry, but he listened as I spoke. I told him that as women we are taught from an early age that we are second class and that the men of biblical times were important while the women were mainly whores, crazy, or simply unimportant. There are scriptures about women, but few are read during mass that give women a sense of pride. During mass on September 26th, he acknowledged the women of our church and the important role we play so that healing could begin. It was a step towards change with a long journey ahead.
I was born a feminist. By the age of five, I'd decided I'd never take a man's name. I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to become a priest or even an altar girl. I wanted to know why professional sports were all about men. I was angry whenever I was told that I was a pretty girl and should marry rich. Even the women in my life, who always told me I could do anything, still instilled the idea that I needed to know how to cook and clean to be a proper wife someday.
There is a power in being a woman. It has nothing to do with hair color or breast size. It comes from the softness of being feminine, and within that softness is a power equal to, if not stronger than, the warrior spirit of a man. A man becomes speechless at the sight of a confident, sexy woman, who knows who she is. When that same woman looks at a man with love and the need to be loved, his heart belongs to her. Since the beginning of time men's Achilles heels have been women and the fear of women's power caused femininity to be suppressed.
Somehow in our need to find equality, women haven't turned to this power, instead they've tried to become more like warrior men. I think this has left many men wondering who they are supposed to be in relationships, in the work place, and in life. They've been asked to be softer, more emotional, and many are unsure if they are supposed to open a door for a lady and pay for dinner or if they are insulting the woman when they do so. It has created a generation of lost gender identities and many men have become what my friend calls, 'flow boys', I'll go with whatever you want me to be. A therapist once told me, "We are trying so hard to build our girls that we are burying our men." This leads to women being frustrated, men being lost, and no one being able to be who they really are. In our search for equality as women, we've somehow decided that men need to be less or different. How is this any better?
I was speaking to my friend Jane from Midlifeblogger, and she said, "The definition of feminism, is that women should be able to be whatever they need to be without judgment while being treated equal to their male counters. If a woman wants to stay home and raise her babies she can still be a feminist." Then she added, "You my dear, are the face of the new feminism. You can be independent, travel the world, like who you are, speak your mind, and still allow yourself to be a feminine, soft spirit."
The more I go after my dreams and seek a life where I believe I can have it all, the more comfortable I become with who I am. I've come to realize that I love being a woman and as I embrace my femininity, my softer side, I feel more power in who I am.
For many years, men have dominated. There are women who believe that it is our time to be on top and that men should be lessened in order for balance. In truth, women aren't conquerors and to become like men would only create more masculine imbalance. In our softness we need to see, that it is in accepting one another for the true spirits we are that we can find balance, equality, and happiness.
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